Captain Lee’s Funniest Below Deck One-Liners Ranked
Below Deck fans are always laughing at Captian Lee’s famous one-liners, which have become a staple on the show. Take a look at some of his best!
Below Deck star Captain Lee Rosbach may be one of the most central figures on the show, but viewers are typically more invested in the drama between the lower-level crew than they are in the Captain. As the yachties take to the seas, the Captain has the more difficult job of keeping the yacht on course while ensuring the guests are happy and the crew is working diligently. Though Captain Lee has a job that he takes incredibly seriously, there is typically humor in the way he speaks to his crew. Below Deck fans are always laughing at his famous one-liners, which have become a staple on the show.
As captain of a superyacht, the ability to be available to both guests and crew is imperative. Over the years, Lee has talked about some health struggles he’s been dealing with that make it difficult for him to physically continue his job. Recently Captain Lee announced he’d be leaving Below Deck, and while fans are saddened by his departure, they are still excited for the newest season. Captain Lee will take his leave as the crew continues its journey with the St. David. However, fans still have more to look forward to in season 10, and his most memorable moments will continue on in reruns.
“We screwed the pooch so many times we should have a litter of puppies running around.”
One of Captain Lee’s most famous phrases, “we screwed the pooch,” has taken on many iterations over the course of the show. This version, which he came up with during Below Deck season 3 aboard the luxury yacht Eros, was delivered directly to Chief Stewardess Kate Chastain. Lee and Kate were discussing the plan for Charter season, and Lee was brutally honest about the crew having messed up in the past. Kate, who recently announced her first pregnancy, was used to Lee’s antics and simply nodded along with the Captain.
“Life is like a sh*t sandwich. The more bread you have, the more sh*t you have to eat.”
Lee gave this nugget of advice on the Below Deck after show, but fans still find it to be one of his funniest one-liners. Lee was discussing the events of Below Deck season 6 when the My Seanna sailed outside the Caribbean for the first time. Handling new crew and dealing with a route he hadn’t sailed My Seanna on before, the Captain had more on his plate than usual. As the season continued, things became more difficult for Lee and ultimately, he had to fire Bosun Chandler Brooks, so it isn’t surprising that he was a bit negative. Lee was able to make light of the situation during the after-show, which led to this hilarious philosophy.
“I’m madder than a pissed-on chicken”
Captain Lee coined this one-liner aboard the My Valor during Below Deck season 4, after the crew had a poor docking. When he first delivered this gem, he was incredibly angry at the entirety of the crew for their incompetency in getting the yacht docked appropriately, especially considering that a bad docking can cost a ton in repairs, and tarnish Lee’s reputation as Captain. Fans were not surprised to find the crew in shambles, especially with memorable deckhand Nico Scholly aboard the ship. Since its inception, Lee has used the phrase liberally.
“It really wrinkles my a**.”
While this particular phrase was coined by Captain Lee on Below Deck season 7, it has been thrown around in various iterations since the beginning of the series. Lee has thrown around several different iterations of the phrase, but it all comes down to getting angry about things that shouldn’t be happening on board in the first place. By using the same intonation as one would say something “grinds their gears,” Lee has made the phrase iconic.
“If you start crying again, I’m gonna have to go get you some cheese to go with that wine you’ve been spouting.”
Early in the run of the franchise, Captain Lee was cited as an “old school Captain,” which, to many crewmembers, meant he had his specific terminology and phrases. Still, the crew aboard Below Deck season 1’s vessel, Honor, were shocked to hear how extensive Lee’s phrases were. This retort to the crew, which Lee said with a sharp, serious tone, was met with raucous laughter from the deckhands, including Eddie Lucas. A little less filtered than he is now, in the early seasons of Below Deck, Captain Lee was known to have a dry sense of humor and the language of a sailor, which he’s illustrated several times throughout the series.
“I’m gonna eat someone’s a** for dinner!”
This Below Deck season 8 gem came on the heels of the crew getting an already angry Captain Lee even angrier. While Lee said the line with the intention of sounding threatening, viewers couldn’t help but pick up on the cultural connotation of Lee’s phrasing. Lee, who was making his way up to the deck to yell at the crew, was asked if he’d like something for dinner. He barked this phrase out at a stunned crew member, who he then left in the dust to go chat with his deckhands. As is his specialty, Captain Lee diverted attention from the drama and delivered another hilarious one-liner in the heat of the moment.
More: Why Below Deck Season 10 Is Already Better Than Season 9
Below Deck airs Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on Bravo.
Source: Captain Lee Rosbach/Instagram, Below Deck/Instagram